Cat Burglar

by Sly Dog

Pornographic
2004

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An interesting setup marred by technical problems, April 26, 2023

I am a cat burglar, and I am currently standing outside a house. Eric is here, and he wants to talk to me.

>Talk to Eric
I don’t understand what you mean!
>X Eric
You see no such thing.
>Hello, Eric
I do not understand the word "hello."
>Eric, hello.
I do not understand the word "eric."

There is a ladder here. I can neither "get" nor "climb" the ladder. When I try to examine the ladder, the game informs me that the ladder is "object1.leaning on the wall|lying on the ground."

Through a combination of brute force and dumb luck, I eventually make my way into an upstairs bathroom. The homeowner notices me. A fight ensues. Sometimes my punches land, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes the game seems genuinely baffled as to why I would want to fight someone in the first place. After wrestling with the text parser for about three minutes, I accidentally trigger an ending. The game is now over.

Put simply, Cat Burglar has a lot of technical problems. I played the game in both ADRIFT 5 Runner and Parchment. The game definitely ran better in Parchment, although I still encountered a lot of bugs.

On a non-technical note, I feel the need to warn potential players that Cat Burglar has a pretty dark tone. It is advertised as a pornographic game, so I expected sex scenes, but Cat Burglar’s approach to sex is very much of the “You are helpless and at my mercy and I can do whatever I want to you and no one will stop me” variety. And I want to stress that I am not judging the author nor the people who enjoy this type of fantasy. However, I personally didn't find it very appealing.

While the prospect of playing as a sexy criminal who has to use not only her thieving skills but her womanly wiles to get her way sounds appealing, Cat Burglar suffers from far too many technical problems to be an enjoyable experience. I do not recommend it.

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