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About the StoryThis is my Steampunk tale of a Clockmaker's apprentice. As you work deligently, your boss is working on a secret project. You wonder what it is but he wont budge. Find out what happens, what the secret project was, and how it will effect the Apprentices life forever. Sorry if it seems repetitive or not long enough, I was trying to build the suspense needed for the end. This is my first Text Adventure, so please be light in the comments. Give me critisism, because I want to improve, but don't just insult me over and over again. It's a great tale that you will enjoy. I will say no more. You will have to play it. Game Details |
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Needs beta-testing to polish, June 25, 2014Playing this, I had the impression that this game could do with some beta-testing, as it is not yet a polished product. It does have, at its heart, a logical story, which would make a lot more sense with greater characterisation. Contrary to the author’s fears, it isn’t actually repetitive, so that’s a point in the author’s favour.
I had the general impression of going through too many actions which did not advance the story. I get that the author made an intentional effort to create suspense, but if the author wanted to make the twist (that is, (Spoiler - click to show)when Mr Kennington fires the player) more shocking or devastating, then it would make sense to show us what kind of emotional stake the player character (PC) has in the job.
(This is where characterisation comes in- something like an explanation of how the PC got this job, or whatever the author sees fit.) Allowing more interaction with the old man would also help in characterisation.
The game’s general appearance is not particularly encouraging, as there are frequent spelling mistakes and lapses in grammar. This gives the impression of hasty writing.
The puzzles in the story were a bit trivial- in fact, if there were no puzzles but instead thoughtful interaction with the old man, or something to show the PC’s emotional stake in his job/clockmaking in general, that would be completely fine.
As a side note, it would be good if there was an option to switch audio off, too.
To the author: take heart! Please don’t let this dishearten you, and do continue writing- it’s not too hard to find people to test your game (http://game-testing.org or http://intfiction.org/forum). They can often spot things which an author would never think of, like bugs, spelling errors, plot holes and such.
This is version 2 of this page, edited by Zape on 4 May 2021 at 11:44pm. - View Update History - Edit This Page - Add a News Item - Delete This Page