Another Color of Hope (Chapter 1)

Very well written and detailed. I could picture the scene clearly as both soldiers discussed the dream and what I imagined the dream to look like. The only little piece I'd like to offer is I think it would be better if there was a footer that said how many pages remain until the end of the chapter. I say that because I found myself hurrying through the readings because I only had about 20 minutes to spend and I didn't know how long the chapter was. It caused me to spend less time focusing on the meanings of the gems and rubies which I'm assuming is part of the lesson, or at least important in making the proper selection to progress the story. Had I known how much more was left in the chapter I would have slowed down to really try and paint a clearer picture of what the tablet and rubies/gems sequence looked like. Along that vein, any pictures of what the tablet looks like would also be helpful in visualizing the story.
I understand this might not even be feasible given the opportunities for changes in how much reading remains depending on which option is chosen, but something even along the lines of a % completed per chapter might help. Just my first impression. But I did like the story and I'm interested to see what else happens.

Was this review helpful to you?   Yes   No   Remove vote  

More Options

Promote this user

Demote this user

Plonk this user

Flag spoilers

Flag as inappropriate

Direct link

View my user filters

Explain these options

 | Add a comment