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Bed Time

by Charlie the Spiffy profile

Humor
2012

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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
If Only We Could Give Zero-Star Ratings, April 3, 2012
by Jim Kaplan (Jim Kaplan has a room called the location. The location of Jim Kaplan is variable.)
Related reviews: charlie the spiffy
Play it if: you enjoy the creeping feeling that you're making the day of whichever guy with too much time on his hands wrote this waste of server space to irritate people.

Don't play it if: you have a smidgen more self-respect than I do.

In all honesty, I don't have the energy to give the author here the benefit of the doubt. The game is brimming with jaw-dropping errors in spelling ("easilly", "proffesor"), punctuation ("the kitchen is to the south" and "there is a bedroom door north" lacking periods), capitalization ("HOUSE"), and grammar ("you find yourself in a house, you don't know where you came from..."). It has horrifying coding problems: refusing to print a room's location when you first enter it, allowing you to pick up things like wardrobes and fridges, specifically mentioning details like blenders and cabinets without implementing them. It has outstanding problems in its logic, such as why you would voluntarily lock yourself out of your bedroom and lock the key to the bedroom in another locked area.

My first thought playing this thing was that the game was written by a ten-year-old. I then revised this to thinking it was written by someone younger, since ten-year-olds generally have a better grasp of language. Then I read the glowing five-star, one-paragraph review the author wrote of his own game, and I realized that someone who literally has nothing better to do was having cheap fun at the expense of anyone curious enough to bite.

Don't do it. Don't make the mistakes I did. Shun Charlie. Shun the game of Charlie. Shun everything, and then shun shunning.

Comments on this review

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CharlietheSpiffy, April 29, 2012 - Reply
Okay some of your arguments are valid and I apologize.

But your logic one, "It has outstanding problems in its logic, such as why you would voluntarily lock yourself out of your bedroom and lock the key to the bedroom in another locked area." Is not.

I believe you did say "("you find yourself in a house, you don't know where you came from...")."

Therefore it isn't even your own house.

In the game it also says "...only that you need to sleep."
Jim Kaplan, April 6, 2012 - Reply
I get it; just a joke at my own expense - I'm actually kind of impressed. I don't currently have the staying power to comb the archive like that on a regular basis.
Jim Kaplan, April 6, 2012 - Reply
Yeah, well, that new-fangled interwebs technology ain't a substitute for good ol'-fashioned detective work on Google.

Wait a minute.
Jim Kaplan, April 6, 2012 - Reply
I'm not sure what your search process was, but I did find it at ifarchive.org by Googling the terms "Bed Time Charlie Spiffy".

I know, I know, I'm a glutton for punishment.
Ryusui, April 3, 2012 - Reply
I'm not sure which annoys me more: making an awful game, or giving it a five-star review.
Jim Kaplan, April 4, 2012 - Reply
Truly a perfect storm of trolling.
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