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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:A short example of dynamic fiction with a haunting feel, November 3, 2017
It's a vaguely mysterious game, with hints of influences from Asia (parts of it reminded me of China, India, and Israel). The blending of different cultures was the most important part to me.
The formatting was very hard to read, though. Pararaphs weren't spaced out, and the text was presented in large blocks. The dialogue could do with some pruning; it had a lot of the quick back-and-forth nothings that real dialogue has, but which do little to improve narrative writing without careful implementation, which was lacking here.
I liked the ending. On a technical note which is not due to the author (I think), I couldn't scroll down, and had to zoom out to read the text.
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A. I. Wulf, November 5, 2017 - ReplyPrevious | << 1 >> | Next
Thanks for your valuable review. I am a newbie in IF field. I am not familiar with all programming quirks. I am basically a writer. And through this work I tried to convey the truth about the third world. It has great beauties. Just like that it has its own cons. Here existential questions are useless. People only want to know how to live. And when challenges like communalism, terrorism and corruption come in the picture, common man sinks into misery hole. And the developed countries also have a role (mainly past colonial suppression and draining of wealth) in this. I just tried to convey through this modest short story.
And only the choice made by the common man of Asia can change these conditions.