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A Bus Ride

by fia glas


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Unsettling but underwhelming, October 26, 2018
Not particularly well written, from a technial point of view. For instance:

"Mom occasionally snuck a drink from her coffeecup. She always was a person who left in the teabag."

So was Mom drinking coffee or tea?

"I wasn't sure who's bag this was, it was probably someone who got off early."

That's called a comma splice.

The plot is... uh, experimental? Very much the stuff of dreams a situation, made up of real-world elements, which doesn't make sense but is taken totally seriously by the subjects anyway. I very much expect that this game was inspired by a nightmare the author had. The evocation of that feeling was well executed, though as you would expect from this style of writing the story can't really explain itself and doesn't offer a satisfying conclusion.

The background images are primative, and from a graphic design perspective the game is pretty ugly text center-aligned in the paragraph, paragraph off-center to the page, with font colours that sometimes don't work with the background colours. Even worse, just look at the splash page before you start the game! That's the real nightmare here.

I did feel the characters had some thought gone into them. I also admit I was a little unsettled throughout, so I have to give at least 2/5. Thanks for the game, fia glas :)

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fiaglas, October 28, 2018 - Reply
Thanks for the review.

Because of the short amount of time I had to work on this I didn't really get the opportunity to polish or... proofread, at all. I'm glad you enjoyed the atmosphere and sorry for no real conclusion. I never really figured out how to tune the idea into a satisfying narrative. The only real core idea was how someone would reason their way through a situation that doesn't confine to logical rules.

I'm glad you could enjoy it in a pinch for the Halloween season!
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