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Digital Witnesses

by rosencrantz profile

Science Fiction
2014

Web Site

(based on 13 ratings)
3 member reviews

About the Story

You are on the run, but why?

A short fiction created in twenty-three Twine passages, prompted by a challenge on Twinery.org.

Game Details

Language: English (en)
First Publication Date: February 23, 2014
Current Version: 01
License: Creative Commons
Development System: Twine
Forgiveness Rating: Merciful
IFID: Unknown
TUID: tj3j2osc0181854n

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Member Reviews

5 star:
(2)
4 star:
(6)
3 star:
(4)
2 star:
(0)
1 star:
(1)
Average Rating:
Number of Reviews: 3
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
., September 14, 2016
This is a short, post-apocalyptic Dynamic IF. You are escaping from an unknown force and you reminisce of those you are leaving behind. But someone is waiting for you at the end.

The game is short but felt quite long to me since this is dynamic fiction and the writer managed to write a full world in 23 passages. I liked how the CSS was the color of escaping dirt and dust, but the coloring was nice, tolerable, pleasing to the eye. It's a dark brown with an autumn orange text.

There were parts where you clicked links that led to other links and then somehow along the way you end up reading something you've already read. Which happens sometimes but there were times where I was actually lost. But I guess this may have been a puzzle mechanic? Which is common in IF, where you will go through a maze of links and choices to eventually find that ending and that's not actually a bad thing.

Pros: A fun Sci-Fi. I was slightly reminded of Marie Lu's Legend for some odd reason.
Cons: Some people might find the clicking in between the passages a little confusing.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
A short story of future escape, February 24, 2014
by Hanon Ondricek (United States)
This was done as a challenge to create a story with 23 passages in Twine. The writing is clear, evocative, and sure.

Other than the brief length, the limitations seem to pose no problem for the author, although I did find myself looping to the same passages several times. This doesn't hurt, because there are extra links to investigate each time.

23 screens doesn't seem like much, but the author intelligently structures this so it doesn't feel like a small story. Very well done.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
Loved it!, December 25, 2014
by Chai Hai (Kansas City KS)
Just wanted to say that I loved your story. Sometimes these non-choice ones are too cut and dry. They can fail to engage you if you're not careful.

I loved this one, I kept wanting to know more about "She", and I loved the overall vagueness of it. It was vague but not too vague, you struck a nice balance and kept the reader hooked.

Since I love to place myself in the role of the main character, at first I was disappointed with the constant mentions of "She", as I'm a straight woman and thought it was going to go down the romantic path.

But I was satisfied with the openness of the ending, letting you derive your own conclusions, whether or not this is the start of a beautiful friendship or something more.

My only complaints are that clicking on some links would loop back to previous things I had already read, and not wanting to miss anything I'd sometimes go into a backwards 3-4 page loop until the story progressed. Maybe next time indicate that these clicks backtrack what we already know?

Anywho, great game, I enjoyed it!

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This is version 3 of this page, edited by rosencrantz on 26 February 2014 at 7:38pm. - View Update History - Edit This Page - Add a News Item