I THINK I'LL STOP OFF ON THE WAY

by piratescarfy profile

Surreal
2016

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Number of Reviews: 3
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
Nightmare-like short horror piece, December 28, 2016
by streever (America)

This work of surreal horror that read like a nightmare: while I appreciated the creepiness, I never felt any sense that the protagonist was in real danger. It felt more like I was playing through his recollection of a fever dream.

The writing was strong overall, but held back by excessive wordiness and presentation. Small yellow type on black is not easy to read, especially with such dense sentences. I'd recommend increasing the line height and narrowing the column the text appears in along with some light editing.

Some scenes were especially good; the restaurant was the most unsettling, followed by picking up the blade. I didn't expect the game to raise existential questions at the very end; I suspected something more violent.

I'm not sure what the deeper themes were here--they eluded me, in the same way that the meaning of a convoluted dream does, leaving me only with a sense of what was happening. In that way, I thought this was reminiscent of Murakami, with a focus on the style and sense of the situation.

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