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Conan Kill Everything

by Ian Haberkorn

Fantasy/Humor
2005

(based on 57 ratings)
9 member reviews

Game Details

Language: English (en)
Current Version: 2
License: Freeware
Development System: Inform 6
Baf's Guide ID: 2754
IFID: ZCODE-2-050428-0A3F
TUID: lb2hf5pqx68wbqhh

Awards

Nominee, Best Individual PC - 2005 XYZZY Awards

Editorial Reviews

Baf's Guide


A brief, silly game in which you, as Conan, kill everything. This is one of those games that takes a simple idea and takes it to its logical extreme. Stupid, but in a good way.

-- Carl Muckenhoupt

SPAG
In this game you play the legendary Cimmerian barbarian, Conan, and your objective is simple. Kill everything. No, not every living thing. Everything. The walls of the room only escape Conan's mighty wrath because they "are already dead. Conan suspects that he killed them in an earlier episode."

Although a one room game, and as mentioned before, very short, some interesting puzzles exist here. None will stymie a veteran IF player for long, but they puzzles are fair and logical, if progressing to a logical extreme. There's not much of a plot or story to speak off, but given the source of the game, expecting one seems silly.

-- William McDuff
See the full review

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Member Reviews

5 star:
(4)
4 star:
(9)
3 star:
(28)
2 star:
(15)
1 star:
(1)
Average Rating:
Number of Reviews: 9
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Most Helpful Member Reviews


10 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
Lightweight, May 26, 2008
This is one of those games, like YOU HAVE TO BURN THE ROPE or Pick up the Phone Booth and Die, where the title could double as the walkthrough. Killing everything does entail a few very minor puzzles, but essentially you just do what it says on the box. Thoroughness is rewarded.

So it's not very ambitious. Is it fun? Yeah, more or less, but I found that the implementation wasn't quite smooth enough and I actually got hung up on stupid things midway through the game. You have to kill things in a specific order, and if you try to deviate from this order, the game won't let you go forward; since I had completely the wrong idea about how to solve one of the puzzles, this left me stuck for longer than the game really deserved.

Then, too, the humor wasn't quite to my taste. It's supposed to be broad, I realize, but the one-note joke had worn out well before the game ended.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
One Room, One Puzzle, October 29, 2010
by Sylvia Storm
Related reviews: parody, fantasy, single room
A mildly entertaining 15-minute play with a single-premise joke - kill everything. It wasn't laugh-out-loud funny, but I enjoyed it enough for it to be memorable.

A game best described as one of those roadside games where you have to jump wooden pegs until you have one left. While it's possible to die early, it is also possible to get stuck in the middle. The game prevents you from making kills that may prevent later kills, which means you really can't get dead-ended. It also means you may be stalled without a clue on how to proceed.

Some of the puzzles infer a solution I couldn't apply, (Spoiler - click to show)as I kept trying to reach the torch to burn the wood golem; and others it seems where not enough clues are given in the descriptions to suggest an action, (Spoiler - click to show)like the table is killed not as you would think. Most of the solutions were obvious, but those last few unfortunately required a walkthrough. I would have liked a hint system.

Worth a short puzzle-solving playthrough.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
Funny Enough, March 27, 2012
by Jim Kaplan (Jim Kaplan has a room called the location. The location of Jim Kaplan is variable.)
Related reviews: ian haberkorn, one-room, short
Play it if: you've got a few minutes to kill and a few brain cells to waste.

Don't play it if: you want a bit more ambition in your IF than - well, almost nothing - and if you are easily enraged by the dumbing-down of the character of Conan as portrayed in external works.

A seemingly one-note joke of a game that actually does have a few puzzles, I'm not sure whether to praise Conan Kill Everything for keeping its admittedly simple premise brief, or wonder if a longer pastiche of the (now ubiquitous) dim-witted caricature of the character is in order.

But I won't be too picky. This is a fairly funny game, and the point of the joke is made. There are even some minor puzzles and a number of nice touches like Conan's reactions to kissing or cutting things. In sum, it's an OK time-waster.

See All 9 Member Reviews

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Polls

The following polls include votes for Conan Kill Everything:

One room games by cpuguy
I would like to know what one room games are available. I enjoyed the acorn court, and am looking for more similar games.

One Room Non-Escape Games by tggdan3
I'm looking for a one room game, where the purpose is NOT to escape that one room. (Eliminating games such as Enlightenment, Suveh Nux, 69,105 keys, etc). I'm not sure if there even ARE many such games, but I would be interested in...

Speed IFs that are awesome by trojo
Expectations for Speed-IFs are generally low, but sometimes games written as Speed-IFs are in fact awesome-- not just "awesome for a Speed IF" but truly worthwhile. List some favorites here.

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This is version 2 of this page, edited by Edward Lacey on 17 April 2013 at 4:43am. - View Update History - Edit This Page - Add a News Item