Home | Profile - Edit | Your Page | Your Inbox Browse | Search Games   |   Log In

Reviews by Jim Kaplan

charlie the spiffy

View this member's profile

Show ratings only | both reviews and ratings
View this member's reviews by tag: aaron a. reed adam cadre admiral jota alan deniro andrew plotkin atmospheric C. E. J. Pacian callico harrison cha holland charlie the spiffy chris conley cpuguy89 craig dutton dan schmidt daniel ravipinto david welbourn duncan bowsman dylan o'donnell emily short fanfiction fantasy gareth rees graham nelson horror humor ian haberkorn IF whispers jacqueline a. lott joey jones jon ingold Juhana Leinonen lucian p. smith marius muller michael gentry mid-length mystery nom3rcy one-room parody paul lee porpentine poster puzzleless rob noyes ronkimmons s. john ross sam kabo ashwell sci-fi sean barrett short speed IF star foster stephen granade taylor vaughan tom blawgus tom mchenry victor gjisbers yoon ha lee zarf zork
...or see all reviews by this member
1-1 of 1


Bed Time, by Charlie the Spiffy

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
If Only We Could Give Zero-Star Ratings, April 3, 2012
by Jim Kaplan (Jim Kaplan has a room called the location. The location of Jim Kaplan is variable.)
Related reviews: charlie the spiffy
Play it if: you enjoy the creeping feeling that you're making the day of whichever guy with too much time on his hands wrote this waste of server space to irritate people.

Don't play it if: you have a smidgen more self-respect than I do.

In all honesty, I don't have the energy to give the author here the benefit of the doubt. The game is brimming with jaw-dropping errors in spelling ("easilly", "proffesor"), punctuation ("the kitchen is to the south" and "there is a bedroom door north" lacking periods), capitalization ("HOUSE"), and grammar ("you find yourself in a house, you don't know where you came from..."). It has horrifying coding problems: refusing to print a room's location when you first enter it, allowing you to pick up things like wardrobes and fridges, specifically mentioning details like blenders and cabinets without implementing them. It has outstanding problems in its logic, such as why you would voluntarily lock yourself out of your bedroom and lock the key to the bedroom in another locked area.

My first thought playing this thing was that the game was written by a ten-year-old. I then revised this to thinking it was written by someone younger, since ten-year-olds generally have a better grasp of language. Then I read the glowing five-star, one-paragraph review the author wrote of his own game, and I realized that someone who literally has nothing better to do was having cheap fun at the expense of anyone curious enough to bite.

Don't do it. Don't make the mistakes I did. Shun Charlie. Shun the game of Charlie. Shun everything, and then shun shunning.


1-1 of 1